For a girl who rarely got out of her home to hang out with her friends, because she didn’t really have many, coming to college was a big step. As I entered through the gates into the beautiful campus ,contrasting to the streets buzzing with shops and vendors outside and overly-crowded highway of Roorkee, a feeling of excitement overtook me. Excitement to finally experience the independence I have always desired, excitement to learn and develop in fields I till now couldn't due to several unavoidable reasons, and mostly excitement to be the person I have always wanted to be.

After the tedious process of registrations, finally came the moment when I bid farewell to my parents, with a smile indubitably. For the first time, a feeling of distress stirred inside me (If only I knew they would visit me six times in the coming two semesters). What followed was a week long orientation, informative it was for sure, but on a few occasions I gladly missed it for the ‘chapos’ i.e. the seniors taking you for sponsored meals for the sake of interaction. Although it was the source of chapos very early on in the campus for me, the fact that not 3 months ago my brother was in same shoes as I were, an undergraduate student at IIT-R was quite vexing. It wasn't long before people had already formed a premature image or I would rather say expectations for me.

Then came the time of workshops and intro-talks of various campus groups. It was then I caught a glimpse of the culture of R-land, a drive to help each other and develop together. People were doing so many different things and with great passion and skill. Moreover, they readily offered counsel if it was in their domain. I have always had a fancy for writing. Come recruitments and since the phrase ‘exploring and trying’ was thrown at you from every second mouth, I decided to try for dramatics. I had very little hope when I went for auditions, fewer when I came out and to my own amazement I got selected. The interviews for the magazines were fun and they made me want to be on the other side of the panel more badly. Thankfully I was selected in Geek Gazette and Watch Out!

I did not loathe the courses or classes but neither did I love them. Only few of them managed to generate some (if at all any) interest in me. Others made sure that they only received my attention two days before the examinations. My first play happened and not only did I learn acting but also discipline and time management. An experience only a strong case of Alzheimer’s can make me forget.

After the disheartening end sem examinations I spent a lot of time in my little room. It was after long that I had so much free time. No lectures, no practicals/tutorials, no meetings, no practices, no parties, it was all too overwhelming for me and I spent a lot of time evaluating myself and my first semester. I realised how different I was from the person I wanted to be and naturally went into a low state. I perked up after a short trip to Rishikesh with my friends but it was temporary for I kept trying to think of my achievements and couldn't think of any.

The winter vacations were full of plans and procrastination. I like every other kid tried my hand at coding, knowing that the technical groups would recruit in january. My lazy ass obviously victoriously made sure I did not get too far. Come a new year and a hopeful new sem. The tiring tech recruitments broke me down and thus I was happy to be selected in IMG. Second semester had courses that were less generalized and definitely more interesting than the first sem.

Second sem is also filled with trips, for me there were three. Although, each trip had very different experiences to offer, something I got from each were new and stronger friendships, maybe the best I would ever have here at R-land. The examinations came near, so did the farewells. Saying goodbye is really difficult, especially to the ones you might never see again. It is then I realized how even though unknowingly, I have grown used to certain people and their small presence in my meaningless life.

First year of college was over. I still wasn’t the person I thought I would be. No, I wasn’t a skilled table-tennis player or a 9.5 grader. But I wasn’t low, I smiled looking at the ceiling in my little room evaluating the year, overwhelmed by the free time. There is so much more to do and so much more to learn and most of the time you will just fail in an attempt to do so, even if you succeed you won’t be the best there is but you will be happy. Happy because you gave it a try, because you tried to find out if it suits you and that is all that matters. I do not yet know what or who I want to be but I surely know what I don’t. For that is what this year has given me that I cherish the most - self discovery. So that was my first-year college experience right there in my mind, as I looked at the blades of the ceiling fan circling with great haste. What was it good for? Was it any good? Come find out!