I loved painting with my fingers as a 7 year old, playing guitar till I bruised my fingers as a 12 year old, and deveining prawns with my granny for her curry as a 15 year old. The best memories from my childhood? Getting my hands messy.

What I’ve written here is brutal honesty. IITR life has been harsh and a lot of the negativity from my first 3 years still remain. Yes, Culinary Club has been my surviving grace- the reason I was sane in the final year of Insti life- and something that makes me supremely proud. I wouldn’t want the reader to take the struggles mentioned too seriously as most won’t face them, but to note the outcome, which is to try everything offered and then consciously think of what you really want to do with your life, however absurd. I’m leaving IITR with the dream of becoming a great chef, and I think that’s what a ‘University life’ should encourage you to do. Follow the things you love (if you have any) and If you don’t have a dream, the cliched stuff is alright as long as you've made peace with it.

I joined IITR in 2014 as a half-hearted physics undergrad, skeptical if I had taken the right decision. The thought of joining hotel management was still lingering in my mind- cooking was the one thing I was a little confident in pursuing- while physics at IITR seemed the easier route and a reason to smile for my mother. My father, on the other hand, was skeptical regarding Integrated M.Sc. Physics, as a non-B.Tech course at an IIT was an ordeal for him. The ‘ideal’ son that I was at the time, I promised dad that I’d work hard and branch change to a course that was better on paper.

Things didn’t go the way I intended it to, maybe the expectations I had from myself and the kind of studies I’d been doing were not enough. I didn’t get a branch change, nor did I gain any interest in my core. I couldn’t gel with my professors: the smallest things would tick them off and boy did they know how to keep a vendetta! Our branch had unanimously agreed that most profs in the department were illogical and can’t be reasonably spoken with. I had a really hard time making peace with how the rest of my years at IITR would span out.

My last try at physics was at the end of my 2-1, which happened to be a project in experimental physics on Giant Magneto Resistance. Although it turned out to be interesting, it was clear that I lacked the dedication, patience, and liking for research. Coding and design didn’t interest me as well, and just like that two years of Insti had ended with me having no clear direction on what my career path must be.

My third year at IITR was probably the hardest phase of my University life. Coming to terms with the fact that you want nothing to do with your core or the popular non-core picks is a nasty pill to swallow. All I could think about was dropping out and joining a culinary school( I was serious about it, and got admission in the Institute of Culinary Education, New York. Alas, no money)

Not everyone finds their interest here at IITR. Some of you will be in a similar situation, and sadly, you’ll have to find your way out of it yourself. I wish there were a guide on how to find your passion, but life would've been too easy then, right?

MBA was something my parents always wanted me to do post IITR, and giving a try at finance naturally seemed to be the next step. I was very lucky to land up at an internship with ICICI Securities at the end of my third year, and a part of me was enthusiastic and looking forward to corporate life. Wearing formals everyday, analyzing and crunching numbers, making contacts with professionals- it all seemed very exciting at the time.

A great internship to be honest, the work we ended up doing at ICICI was considered one of the best in its field. I had an amazing mentor, really fun co-interns, and a lot to learn. But it was still a little underwhelming as compared to cooking and restrictive with it's monotonous hours and people constantly talking about money. And when I look back now, those were the parts I couldn’t come to terms with- knowing that all that people in corporations ever spoke about was money, how the share market was performing, and which assets are worth investing in.

I always thought I’d work till I’m 30, earn as much as I can, open a restaurant of my own in Pondicherry, make great food, and that would be it. My fear, after this internship, was whether I’d ever keep my creativity intact- if the joy I had for cooking would be squandered over a life of monetary decision making. I didn’t know what to feel at the time, honestly, but I knew I had to give an honest attempt at cooking. It was time for a culinary group on campus to start- a specialized kitchen or cafe- the idea was unclear but it was clear to me that I had to devote more time to the things I’ve enjoyed the most over the years.

My entire 4th year went in establishing Culinary Club, IIT Roorkee. It was tough, it took a lot of sweat and blood, literally. But it was fun, I haven't had an adrenaline rush like the one I had during the events we kept ever in my life. I had written a blog on why India needs student run cafes a year back, give it a read- https://medium.com/culinaryclub/the-need-for-student-run-caf%C3%A9s-in-india-843ae3450678

My fifth year turned out to be the happiest year of my Insti life. I only did the things I love: cooked for hours straight, experimented with ingredients I’d never imagine cooking with, serving a different menu to people every sunday, and seeing smiles on faces that left me with a smile. I loved every single moment of it, and it made all the previous bitter years of college worth it. No one came and handed me this happiness, no one gave it on a silver platter. I worked hard for it, made the administration believe in my vision and as to why they must invest in this idea. Trust me, it’s tough to justify spending the Institute’s money on a hobby like cooking. They did not understand it at the time, some of them still don’t, but those who do are happy when they visit my cafe for trying out the food. It feels great, it truly does.

People, especially my parents and their friends, have advised me against becoming a chef, and I hope they all understand why I made this decision. I read a blog once that I very well relate to, maybe every chef does, and maybe you will as well- http://chrishillonline.com/dear-chefs-an-open-letter/

I’m now a mentor to Culinary Club’s of other IITs, helping them get established. One of my aims is to evolve culinary arts in India, and the establishment of such groups in colleges is a way to do so.

Too many of us not living our dreams because we’re living our fears. ~has become my motto lately.